“You promised to clean your room/empty the trash/help me with housework/spend the weekend with family… the list never ends. We promise to assist others and to better ourselves. Our words leave our lips and float in the air, suspended upon the hopes of others and tied to our own intentions.
Promises are the voices of our best selves. They are the glue upon which our relationships live. I am convinced that we truly wish to fulfill our commitments. Sometimes we fail.
Judaism take promises very seriously. Think of the most famous prayer service of the year (Kol Nidrei) during which we stand in the presence of a Heavenly tribunal, a court of Torah scrolls and the entire community-called to account for the promises which we failed to fulfill last year. Kol Nidrei goads us to not make promises we can’t keep in the future. A promise is not to be trifled with; it is sacred! Kol Nidrei is trying to help us to improve our future, based upon our past.
This week’s Torah reading, Matot-Masay, begins with detailed instructions for uttering vows and keeping them. We might ask ‘why do we need rules about making promises? We know how to make a promise.’ Making promises seems easy. We just open our mouths and let words come out. But we all know that if promises are too easily made they are easily broken and that threatens our relationships. While the protocols spelled out in this Parsha are antique and our society’s roles have changed over 3,300 years, the bottom line remains the same. We must exercise care as we promise to mow the lawn/take care of the neighbor’s pet/visit a friend in a rehab hospital…Let us take our words as seriously as our loved ones and friends do.
Shabbat Shalom
Rabbi Steve Silberman
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