Each of us responds to illness differently. Some may prefer to have family and friends visit; others may prefer privacy and solitude. For some, attention matters greatly and for others being "worried over” is a nuisance. Sometimes it is difficult to know whether the care we are offering is seen by the patient as interference or as genuine concern. During stressful times in our lives such as hospitalization, our words and our actions might be misinterpreted. It’s hard for both the patient and for loved ones. We Jews have always prioritized the mitzvah of visiting the ill. One midrasnhic commentary even teaches that God came to visit Abraham when Abraham was recovering from his Milah (circumcision).
Have you ever considered that God comes to visit you or your loved ones when ill? How would you process such a perspective? Imagine that God Itself is in your own hospital room and deeply concerned over your well-being. As a patient, what would you say to God from your own hospital bed? As a caregiver, what would you say to God?
We have all been in hospitals; as visitors or patients- sometime briefly and sometimes for painful and extended stays. Prayer may be one element to incorporate into the hospital visit. Prayer may or may not empirically alter the medical condition of our loved ones but prayer can alter our view of the experience of being hospitalized. Prayer can be a method of opening one heart to another, expressing love and concern.
Perhaps offer a silent prayer or ask if the patient is inclined to pray. I might suggest words to the effect of: ‘May God be close to you. May you sense God’s presence as you confront your challenges. May God hear your prayers and grant you strength, patience and courage. May you know that God who created you and the entire world is close by and surrounding you with God’s own embrace. May you be healed. Please know I am keeping you in my prayers .Shalom’.
This week’s Parsha, Tazrai- Metzora, opens with a ceremony which hasn’t been practiced for at least 2,000 years. A woman who newly gives birth is to bring animal sacrifices to the Cohen. I wonder if in some way the ritual is attempting to bridge the divide between the fear of being in a potentially hazardous situation and the relief which comes with the sense that health has improved afterwards.
We have all been in situations where health has been restored and health has declined. There are no guarantees-only opportunities for offering support and kindness. Prayer become one more way of connecting us to each other so we can share strength, love and concern. May we so live.
Shabbat shalom.
Rabbi Steve Silberman
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