When I was a young boy, my baby sister wanted to follow me around. To my young mind she always seemed to be a pest. When she didn’t get her way she scratched and pinched. In self-defense, I would hold her tightly. I explained my rationale and complained when I was told to not pick on her. Poppa, my grandfather, used to say “two wrongs don’t make one right,” and instructed me to play nicely, to share and to behave better. I parroted the phrase, nodded and made myself scarce. Over the decades I have mentally heard his words countless times. Adults struggle to impart fairness to children. Having learned the hard way, adults view family through a very different lens than do children.
We expect adults to set proper examples for their children. Perhaps that expectation is the basis for my disappointment in Isaac and Rebekah. Parshat Toldot opens the door into one of the most famous family dramas in the Tanakh (Bible). Father Isaac favors Esau and designates a blessing for him while Mother Rebekah favors Jacob and encourages him to masquerade as Esau in order to illicitly obtain the blessing (designated for Esau) from Father Isaac. Father Isaac is enamored of his outdoorsman elder son and Mother Rebekah dotes on the more domestic Jacob. Each adult, focusing primarily on one child, forgets the primary responsibility of parenthood; lovingly guiding all children into mature adulthood.
As years go by, I find myself talking to Rebekah and Isaac every year at this season. As I read and re-read this Parshah I nearly ask aloud how each parent could have been so blinded by love of one child as to discriminate against the other. It is unfortunate that they never get it right in terms of rearing their twins. At least we have a chance to learn from their parental misjudgements.
May our children learn fairness and kindness, patience and mutual respect from our daily behavior. May we be mature enough to NOT instruct our children in the ways of jealousy, lying and deceit. Let each of us recognize our capacity for improving our world through the contact we have with all of our children.
Shabbat shalom.
Rabbi Steve Silberman
~Veterans Day Service Fri. Nov. 13, 6:00-7:00p.m. Oneg to follow – Please join us and honor our veterans!
~If you are like most Jews you have never studied Daniel on an adult level. Please join us for a Bible study of a very intriguing book. Mondays (beginning Nov. 16) from Noon to 1:00p.m. (No charge). Enjoy refreshments and a bit of fellowship too!
~ Proudly brought to you by Sisterhood, on Sunday Nov.15 @ 9:45 a.m. at the Shul. Please RSVP by Friday, Nov.13at 3:00 p.m. Supplies need to be purchased. There is no charge to participate. Call the shul office. ~More Info~
~Please bring small LEGO sets which will be donated to the Special Needs program at Camp Ramah. This LEGO collection drive will be an ongoing Sisterhood project. Bring them to the challah baking session or at any other time!
~ New Book in the Monday Bible study (NOON). Daniel calls out to us. No cost to join. Drop by for an hour. Open a Bible which you have never studied. The origin of the phrase “Feet of clay” may surprise you.
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